Part I here:
How does autism impact your friendships?
It’s always been difficult for me to form connections with people. Of the friendships I have had over the years, many of them were a case where the other person felt more connected with me than I felt with them. Part of that is I think I haven’t developed enough of an ability to be in sync with people. Another is the fear and challenge of fully bringing my spirit out around people — it’s really difficult to do that.
Up through high school, people would have to directly engage me to get something out of me. I could hardly initiate interactions or jump into the mix. It’s still quite difficult for me to interact within a group…it’s much easier and more natural for me one on one.
Many times there were people I really wanted to be friends with or get to know but I knew I wouldn’t be able to be enough and/or I was way too anxious to pursue it.
There have been negative experiences where I was indirectly rejected by certain people because they couldn’t accept my differences and invisible challenges. A girl from the group of friends I was a part of in middle school invited everyone to her birthday except for me, with the excuse that there weren’t enough invitations, even though she’d invited her crush. She was so sorry though. She also once brought back some nice stuffed animals from a family vacation for everyone in the group — except me — with the excuse that her mom would only buy that many. Another girl, the one who initially brought me into that group, made Christmas gifts for everyone one year. They all got nice teddy bears that she obviously put effort into and mine was different — it was a very shoddily and hastily put-together ‘mini purse’ that was so ugly no one would ever want to be seen using it and so small as to be nonfunctional. It had raw edges that were fraying and was lopsided, with edges that didn’t even match up and she said she was sorry she didn’t have time to finish it. It was quite apparent she was sending the message that I was not worth what the others were worth. That same girl, on the last day of high school, even though we weren’t even friends anymore and hung out in different groups, came up to me and asked to sign my yearbook. So we swapped and wrote something in each others’ books. I came up with something nice to say while I found that she had written something really nasty, kind of cloaked in its intent but the message definitely came through that she looked down on me and took joy in jabbing me one last time just because I didn’t fit her standards of being human and deserved to be treated like trash. And perhaps, I could conjecture, there was resentment that I had asked someone else to tour the campus with when I returned after homeschooling for a few years and chose other people to hang out with over her. It said something like, “I’m sure we’ll all make something of ourselves, even you.” I can’t check the exact wording because I cut out her picture and words and burned them up when I got back so I didn’t have to ever see it or her disgusting face again. I have seemed to attract narcissistic, self-centered girls who like having someone be their follower and do whatever they want to do.
One year while I was homeschooling during high school I was working at a volunteer organization and found out after that fact that the other few girls had had a sleepover and I was the only one who didn’t get invited. But I can’t really blame them — plenty of people would feel weird having someone at a fun event who can’t hold a conversation and whom they haven’t made any kind of connection with. In 11th grade, there was an exchange student seated next to me in elective and she was really friendly and sociable, acted really happy to see me. I liked her and tried to engage with her but some time into the semester she ended up gravitating to other people and being integrated into their group instead. Again, I understood why she would do that — she just wasn’t getting enough out of me.
At my first job, aged 20, I found out, after the fact again, that there had been a big party many of the employees had gone to. No one had bothered to tell me about it. This time it was a little weirder since I did have more of an ability to engage with others and was on friendly terms with a few of them. I think many times people don’t really know what to make of me.
This next one was hurtful though: My mom had gotten back into contact with a family she used to babysit for. I had been good friends with the daughter back then. Having been around her and her brother so much at my own home where I was comfortable, I had been able to bring myself out of my shell around them when I was a little kid. I was actually quite outgoing and goofy with them — they were easily entertained and so I found it fun to come up with ways to get them to laugh, and they really liked me. When we reunited when I was in maybe 9th grade, she invited me to go to her Christian youth group with her. Even though I wasn’t religious, I was used to this sort of thing since I grew up with it, and mainly it was a chance at being with a friend. At first we were sticking together, sitting next to each other, doing the activities together. But as the weeks went by, she drifted away from me and it ended up in the end being more like we both went to the youth group but we weren’t really associated with each other. She preferred being around her other friends, without inviting me to join, and I was basically on my own. At that time in life I was a far cry from what she used to know me as. I was now very withdrawn and shy and hadn’t developed good social skills nearly at all. She was actually a few years younger than me and I remember feeling like her and her friends were eons ahead of me in their social and expressive abilities — I felt a bit like a freak. But there wasn’t anything I could do about it. I continued going and trying to enjoy the experience of being a part of some group, even though I was kind of on the margins.
Environments played a crucial role in these instances. I was in situations where a lot of people were gathered, which overwhelmed me and played a number on my well-developed self-consciousness. “I” couldn’t come out in that kind of arena. I was surrounded by people who pretty much were on the same developmental stage as one another in many regards, and I couldn’t meet them where they were at.
My parents had to instigate the rule that my step-sister couldn’t hang out with people whom I was already friends with, because it could well happen that she’d “steal them away”, with those people ending up preferring her company over mine. My step-sister and I were the same age and went to the same school for some time. She was a social butterfly, extroverted, very attention-seeking, and tended to draw people in with her loudness, high energy and interactional abilities. We were pretty much opposites. My parents put the rule into place when I became distraught over a girl I considered to be one of my best friends having invited my step-sister to go to the movies with her. That girl was someone who I could tell genuinely liked and connected with me and with whom I had similarities. I was stunned when it was announced that she and her mom were heading over to pick my step-sister up. When they arrived, I was told that my friend was asking if I wanted to come along — but I could not do that. I knew I couldn’t compete with my step-sister and that I’d become like a third wheel. And I really, really disliked my step-sister. She was a very nasty person to me, for no good reason, whether it was from jealousy of some sort or that I was just made a target because she didn’t like this whole family blending thing. It felt blasphemous to go hang out with her and my friend as if we were all buddies and I condoned it.
There were a few times, though, where people preferred me over her, one notable time being the new neighbors that moved in next door to us when we were about nine years old. I actually became very good friends with the boy and girl who were around my age. We would hang out all the time, run about the neighborhood on our bikes, then it was scooters, then it was rollerblades, have sleepovers. We were good friends for 4–5 years but then things changed. They started becoming distant, leaving me to go back to their house if we were outside, or just going to their rooms if I was at their house, not being interested in hanging out when I came to ring their bell. It was strange, as if they had talked about me between themselves and decided they didn’t like me anymore. It was very hurtful and confusing, but I didn’t know how to talk to them about it, figured there wasn’t anything I could do. To add insult to injury, they switched their attention to my step-sister, especially the boy. He became infatuated with her, hanging over the backyard fence or his 2nd story bedroom window to talk to her, sometimes throwing rocks at her window to get her to appear. It used to be my attention they’d try to get from their window. It was disturbing to watch my good friends slowly and quietly reject me and gravitate to this person who was revolting in my eyes because she’d been so mean to me, and who didn’t deserve their attention. I can only conjecture that I became boring to them, perhaps because I didn’t change all that much as we became older, that my outer personality was still not very developed, and they were moving on to newer, more exciting things. I was deeply hurt for many years afterward by our friendship fizzling out and their rejection of me.
A couple times I tried to make friends with people I liked and was drawn to by bluntly asking if they wanted to be friends. And these were people I hadn’t had much interaction with previously. I assumed something would happen after that, and when nothing seemed to be happening, I wasn’t sure what to do myself. And that was that. It’s cringy looking back on it. One time happened in high school and another time in college. You would think by that age I’d know not to go about things in that manner. I did another weird thing a couple times where I saw from afar people’s friendship or relationship break apart and I was really curious to understand why. So I went up to them and asked them about it…and again, these were people I didn’t normally consort with. Again, one time happened in high school, another in college. Thankfully, they were both polite to me and didn’t seem to take it in a bad manner.
I seemed to do better with people either younger or older than me. Younger people I think saw me as a really nice girl who validated them as a person because I didn’t treat them any differently than I would older people, whereas others my age or older may have not sat and had a conversation with them or might have been dismissive in some way. Older people were more accepting of me than people my age, who generally had more expectations for me to behave a certain way or to be entertaining, and I could have more mature, intellectual conversations with adults.
How does autism affect your romantic relationships?
I am grayromantic and demiromantic, which doesn’t have anything to do with autism necessarily, but maybe the fact that it takes me longer than most people to feel a connection with someone has some sway over my romantic orientation.
I have never been in a relationship, and you can say autism indirectly has some play in that, simply because if I didn’t have autism I probably would have met, gotten to know, and connected with a lot more people over my lifetime. Although I have had my fair share of guys I’ve hung out with as friends throughout my adult life. Many have been interested in me although I didn’t reach that same space myself. So fundamentally, it has to do with my stance that I don’t actively look for romantic relationships and don’t go on dates, don’t at all take that whole enterprise lightly, have to be solid friends with someone before entertaining that prospect, and of course not everyone I become friends with will fit the bill. It’s not a goal of mine to be in a romantic relationship and I’d be perfectly fine without one…not high on my values or to do list, you could say. It’s a rather different way to go about things compared to general society…but that’s my independent, idealistic nature for you! Idealistic in the sense of getting to know someone and having someone get to know you without any ulterior motive or expectation. Plus, it seems a bit odd to me to look for people specifically for that next-level connection, before you really know them all that well…it feels forced to me. I’ve always been this way…it’s what makes sense for me. I don’t look down on relationships though — I think it would be great to be in a relationship if it comes about, but I don’t seek it for it’s own sake.
Working with Your Autistic Brain
What are some positives associated with being autistic and in what ways does it enhance your life?
Having a very profound experience of life has been a wonderful thing. I feel like I had the ability to experience life to the very fullest in my outer and inner experience. Although, I have frequently felt like I’m on some different kind of level than those around me. This really deep way of experiencing things meant that I could be deeply moved by things — the beauty of nature, the arts, such as music, dancing, and films sometimes, good writing or speeches, just being alive.
I have inspired people to be more true to themselves since I’m a pretty independent do-my-own-thing quirky authentic individual, and to be more open, as I am a pretty open book and raw in a way, tended to come from a place of personal meaning and was really grounded in the present moment and grounded in myself, as opposed to following social scripts and patterns, being on autopilot, coming from a partial self or surface level. I’m happy that I could be that for others and that this was so natural for me.
I’m good at seeing things in a novel and creative manner.
I can be really thorough and exacting in projects I undertake. I try to communicate things in the best and most effective manner when I have the energy and capacity to. People have appreciated how I’ve put words to or articulated certain things during conversation. I like to have clarity in my own experience and conception of things and am pretty aware of all the elements and details that make up some experience or other. I can also be pretty good at getting to the heart of the matter and being direct and simple and encompassing in contrast to styles that are more like beating around the bush or talking in a way that is more exploratory or compartmentalized or subjective, although those can have their own value at times as well. Not sure how much of that is due to autism or just personality…but anyways that’s how I’ve turned out.
I have tended to be very accepting of others and to not make assumptions. Even though I have experienced people feeling weird around me because I didn’t act in certain normal ways, at the same time a lot of people have said they feel comfortable around me and that I’m a safe and trustworthy person.
Besides the sometimes crippling social anxiety I was overall a very calm, centered person. I was very grounded and regulated myself well 99% of the time. I think I spent a lot of time in meditative states as I was growing up, without knowing it. Maybe being on the spectrum contributed to this because I was totally content being on my own a lot of the time, and perhaps it was especially good for my system to have all that downtime for it to be in good shape and well-regulated. I really dived into experience and reflective life in ways that others maybe don’t do so much.
Autism helped me pay attention to details involved in external things of life as well as inner life. It helped lead me to make sense of life on my own — things were really felt and thought through. I turned out to be a very self-aware person with solid values, clarity in my everyday drives and motivations, and quite an intentionality about me. Even in the face of the social difficulties I experienced on a daily basis, I had an inner focus and clear-sightedness to me moment-to-moment — I learned to be accepting of myself and work with what I had and stay true to my truths. I learned the art of keeping myself as aligned as possible, and in states and mindsets which I determined to be in, which felt the most natural, right and purely me…and on top of that, embellished with a vastness and vibrancy.
So, having autism factored, in ways, into my developing an independent, strong mind and becoming a very mindful self-regulated individual. Many people on the spectrum may struggle with self-regulation, and I have had a few moments in times of intense interpersonal situations (as everyone does), but I was led in the direction of developing a strong self-integrity and centeredness. That’s what felt good and right to me and so I was drawn to it.
What helps you prevent or cope with moments of overwhelm?
I think I kind of learned to check-out a little for self-regulation. It may seem like I’m in my own world or day-dreaming.
It’s good to keep interaction to a minimum at times of overwhelm, go off by myself if possible, put up less of a mask, because that is hard work. It’s also important to get somewhere with less stimulation…less noise, less movement around me.
I can also sometimes refresh or recalibrate if I’m in an anxious/overwhelmed state by trying to see it from a different perspective, maybe a more neurotypical one, to help me see the situation as less threatening and difficult and to feel like I have the strength and ability to get through it. I’m not negating my own experience but kind of buffering it when it gets out of hand as far as disabling my ability to function in the world…when you get to an overwhelmed state your brain won’t necessarily be thinking very logically and is really focused on, maybe blowing out of proportion, things that are distressing to you.
It can be helpful to interact with a safe person too, maybe get some reassurance. Sometimes I think I just need to feel less disconnected and discombobulated from feeling out of sync with the outer world, or need a boost of confidence to help with my sense of agency.
What are some of the challenges you face in being autistic?
Having trouble connecting with people and people having trouble connecting with me. It’s difficult finding kindred spirits. It’s also much more challenging and less intuitive for me approaching people and initiating interactions and friendships.
All the things that don’t come naturally or intuitively to me that everyone else around me doesn’t seem to have a problem with. Not having ‘common sense’ at times. Significant difficulty following others and understanding them. Being slow to understand social situations at times.
Being ‘othered’ and not accepted because I’m not similar enough to them. People tend to like to associate with what’s familiar to them.
Overwhelm, self-consciousness, social anxiety.
People interpreting me the wrong way and coming to the wrong conclusions. I’m sensitive to that because it’s difficult to have that happen regularly to you, and no one wants to not be seen for who they are and be seen as something else.
What is your experience with medical systems?
Going to the doctor can feel extremely stressful for me, and it should be the opposite. Autism aside, our medical system is so impersonal and uncaring. Once when a nurse was attending me after my doctor session I broke down crying because I felt like he wasn’t listening to me and wasn’t letting me talk much, and I was having really concerning symptoms. Doctor sessions are super rushed and a good amount of doctors I’ve interacted with are not friendly and kind of condescending. The type of interaction in there is overwhelming because you have to think really fast and be rather assertive. I’ve learned to write down what I want to talk about and review it well before the actual appointment. I get panicky before appointments because I know I’m going to be walking into a situation where I may well not get taken very seriously, have to fight to be heard, and that I’m some nuisance they’ve got to process. I really gave up many years ago on the medical system…they did not help me with a number of issues. I ended up paying out of pocket for an expensive holistic doctor for some time at $400 a session plus whatever tests and supplements they ordered for me when I was working full time and had the means to do so — although it kind of became an act of futility because even though I did start getting better, it didn’t last long because the treatment plan plus the full time work ended up being too much for my system to handle and I crashed back to where I started pretty much.
A year or so ago I had an appointment with a new doctor within the traditional insurance-covered medical system and she acted annoyed and defensive with me over things that didn’t call for that. I was so overwhelmed and stressed afterward I had to sit in the car for 45 minutes before driving back and cried at home. Some months later, while I was waiting for a follow-up appointment for that doctor, other people in the waiting room were complaining about how she was rude and condescending and had an attitude…so it wasn’t just me! I ended up just leaving due to the exorbitant wait and will never see her again! It’s an unfortunate truth that there are many uncaring and I would say quite mediocre doctors, especially those covered under public insurance.
For mental health, I’ve tried talk therapy many times but it just does not work for me. They jump to the wrong conclusions and can’t seem to really get where I’m coming from and I just get aggravated by their communication styles and approach…it must be a clash between their neurotypical brain and my neurodivergent brain. I’ve never felt safe enough in that setting. I’m not sure I’m really all that geared to processing personal things through talking with others anyways. I have this thing about me where when I talk about something personal in the presence of others, I get kind of removed from the emotions associated with it or I can’t seem to integrate it into the interpersonal setting.
How does being autistic impact your work?
If I’m on a team it can be tough because group dynamics are more difficult to manage than if I’m working on my own or with just one person. I’ll probably get confused and miss important things.
As I’ve seen many other auties say, if instructions are given in a conversational manner I may not get everything because the main points may not be clear and there may be things implied which the communicator thinks are obvious but which don’t get through to me. In situations like this (in any kind of setting or circumstance) I might go along and pretend I understand, and my brain may slowly stitch it together in a delayed processing type of thing or I might pick it up by context of what happens next. I do that because people have shamed me or gotten upset over my not getting things, and I don’t want people to see me as stupid or inattentive, which they will.
I choose positions where I don’t have to interact with a lot of people because of how stressful that is.
I’ve worked places where they expect the employees to just pick up on certain things along the way but that is not a good setup for me because I miss social cues and am not very natural at interacting with coworkers in all the little ways throughout the day that typical people are used to, and that’s what helps them learn and integrate more information to better navigate the workplace.
I’m not good at attending to a lot of things at once, especially in a social environment. I’m better at focusing on one or two things, and also sticking to a routine and not being expected to notice and take action on new and different things from day to day, unless I’ve been walked through those particular things, perhaps practiced doing them, been versed on their importance and on what exactly to do about them.
If it’s a fast-paced or chaotic environment I won’t absorb things very well. So even though I may be following certain protocols one day, it can be kind of a blur to me; if some time goes by where I haven’t had to utilize those steps and another day comes around where I suddenly have to go through the process again I may totally blank on certain things. I feel like I need time to stop and reflect and get proper bearings, but that would be looked down on in many situations because of the move, move, move mentality.
I’ve always been especially tired after working, compared with others. I remember with my first job working at a water park in the food service area, I’d come back bone tired each day and just plop down on the couch and my mom commented that I seemed to be more tired than I should be. In another job I had, a stock position at a clothing store, even after a minimal shift of 3–5 hours I’d have to just sit around and relax for a while to regain some energy and would sometimes take a nap. My roommate looked down on that, telling me I was being lazy. I was just doing what I had to do. But I realize now for me it isn’t ‘just work’. It’s contending with loads of social interaction, being extra vigilant so that I understand what’s going on, sometimes multitasking, which is difficult for me, all at a fast pace in an environment which can be hectic, loud, and bright.
The Past
How did being an undiagnosed autistic impact your childhood?
I was inordinately shy and scared around people. I guess people just figured I’d grow out of it like a typical person, but of course it was much more than simple shyness. I had a really, really tough time being around people and being in new situations. It could be so nerve-wracking and overwhelming that it definitely contributed to me being drawn in to my self, being in my own world, because it was so hard to be a part of the neurotypical world. In middle school the anxiety was so bad my mom had to cajole me to get out of the car every morning when she went to drop me off. Sometimes she would park and allow me to wait in the car for an extra 5–10 minutes…those blessed extra few minutes…I would take every second I could get apart from that cursed place full of people, especially people my age who I just didn’t fit in with and who were full of judgment. My anxiety also caused me to sweat profusely around people and I learned that I could only wear certain colors or fabrics so that I wouldn’t be sporting big sweat stains under my arms.
In a lot of cases I think it can be really hard for neurodiverse folks to forge a way to good social integration and a healthy level of comfortability and sense of agency without help. I didn’t feel like I had a handle on socializing until I was in college. It was like I finally had tapped into some human potential that everyone else had been tapped into since they were kids. I couldn’t even feel totally comfortable or truly get close with friends because I didn’t know how to get all of me into the mix of things. It didn’t flow smoothly. And the deeper parts of me were really shut off from the world, from a combination of being an extra sensitive person, navigating all the subtleties and complexities of human life that aren’t intuitive for me, and complex trauma of being subtly and overtly rejected over and over for being different.
Maybe if I had known of my autism growing up I wouldn’t have felt pressure to live up to neurotypical standards of being and go through all the stress and developmental consequences associated with that.
I was blunted in my development and self-expression for sure. It would have made a big difference in my life if people knew what was going on and how to help me.
How has your identification as autistic changed how you view your childhood or early adulthood?
I had really low self-esteem when I was a kid and young teen. I just felt like people couldn’t like me. But in reality I had legitimate struggles with social cues and social norms. I really didn’t do anything that terrible, but it gets to you when people are not accepting or wary of you enough times. I was really sensitive to people’s judgments and opinions and people are very quick to judge and ‘other’. Plus, had I been able to be myself instead of the timid mouse I had become in reaction to life, I think people would have liked me. But I was just too scared, vulnerable and overwhelmed.
In my early adulthood, even though I had grown in social skills and amount of friends, I was still very much in my own world…I didn’t realize how much…and I was contending with an enormous existential burden which spanned difficulties I had in being my full self, feeling safe around people, and forming meaningful connections. I flatlined in my adulthood as far as my life going anywhere. I got really depressed and was feeling like I may never be able to make it but I wish I had been able to see that my timeline was just different from typical people and there was still opportunity and hope. I did not need to expect myself to be adjusted to life in the way that others were. But in any case I definitely was quite maladjusted and needed help and didn’t know where to find it. I had some very serious core problems and I actually did a really great job at living and trying to work with them as I progressed into adulthood…I almost made it out alright. I think if I had taken more risk at trying to open my spirit more around certain friends and connections it would have made a big difference, because if that worked out well my spirit wouldn’t have dropped into the deep dark hole it did in my early twenties and eventually died, unable to find a way out. My spirit’s quest was to fully find a way into life — be fully there, able to express itself, and really authentically connect with others and the world.
What ways did or do you camouflage or mask?
It varies when and with what I feel comfortable not masking. Thankfully I never got in the habit of totally covering myself, because authenticity and individuality have always been values of mine. I learned to put on many different little components to conform to others’ communication styles, expectations and preferences. I can put on a very convincing show of neurotypicality at times. I’ll at times make myself appear more interested and comfortable in interacting, force facial expressions, vocal inflection, show of emotion, sustained eye contact, give certain expected reactions, not allow my face to make some of it’s natural expressions or my body to make some of it’s natural movements, pretend to understand things, force myself through difficult/uncomfortable situations because others don’t have problems with it. But with those I feel I can make a more authentic and natural connection, I am more my authentic embodied self.
Interestingly, my masking behavior also branched off into the hiding and suppressing of my spirit from feeling so unsafe and vulnerable and not wanting attention on me, so I may mask things that wouldn’t be seen as weird but I just don’t feel comfortable bringing out, like fully genuine smiles and letting my eyes be genuinely expressive and my body be more fluid. It feels unsafe somehow. It’s a complex, for sure. I feel it draws people’s attention to you and while it may not be negative attention, it’s like they’re witnessing more of your soul. And it can also draw them magnetically further towards you, seeking more out of you, which I may not be ready for and which I may likely end up kind of stumbling about in because it can be the case that I’m not really quite sure what I’m doing in more close, intricate, and subtle interactions…it can be nerve-wracking and I can end up being a disappointment to them, or they might be taken aback in response to my doing or saying something unexpected. I kind of have to gauge…is it worth it in this situation or with this person? This type of masking came about because I felt like I had to guard my very essence around people.
My masking these days is in a complicated state because I also mask chronic fatigue and dissociation (dpdr). It is quite ingrained in me to ‘tough it out’ and be collected and meet social expectations people have of you; and also to not be vulnerable around people…I don’t even totally know how to go about that honestly…that would be pretty foreign XD Also, because of long-term dpdr my sense of self has broken down so it’s even more difficult to “be myself”.
Concluding Questions
What do you wish people knew about autism?
There are more people on the spectrum with these neurological differences than you may realize. It’s estimated that 2% of population is on the spectrum, 1 in 50 people. It’s not something you should feel uncomfortable about and it doesn’t mean that you can’t relate to them as people. It doesn’t automatically mean that we’re intellectually challenged or ‘gifted’. We have a divergence from how a typical brain/system is wired and there can be so many variations and possible outcomes from that. One autistic may struggle in a certain manner wherein another may excel. But we do tend to have ‘spiky profiles’ of abilities where we can be average to above average in some capabilities while being below average and struggle in certain other areas.
Do you have any resources on autism you’d like to share with others?
There are a few memoirs by autistic authors that I found to be really interesting reads. In Nobody Nowhere, Donna Williams writes in a very self-aware and articulate manner about her challenges, vulnerabilities and the reasons behind her differences. She talks about the psychological defenses and strategies she uses in order to cope with the very difficult tasks of living in the world and interacting with people. Coming from a traumatic upbringing, she had a very fractured sense of self, developing multiple personalities a result. She takes you through her delicate and complicated existence as she grows up and becomes a young woman. The sequel, Somebody Somewhere, follows her further education, becoming a teacher, and also a period of working with autistic and disabled people. She continues to make strides in healing her wounded self, overcoming developmental barriers, and further growing into herself as a person. I lost this book and am unable to skim through it for more detail.
Gorilla Nation accounts a beautiful way a girl found affinity with other beings and a path toward personal growth and empathy. Gorillas got through to her when people couldn’t. They taught her how to interact in a prosocial manner and to use and pick up on nonverbal cues. She writes some about her childhood and the unique ways she spent her time, as well as the autistic characteristics she had. Due to bullying, she ended up dropping out of high school and subsequently lived a wayward life for a few years afterward. Throughout the book she teaches you about gorillas and their dynamics, as well as the similarities in basic motivations/drives she’s observed between them and humans. She takes you through her journey in her studies and career, in her long-term relationship, and in having a child.
Send in the Idiots is a project undertaken by an autistic individual who decides to track down classmates of his childhood special education class, get to know them as adults, and write about it. The class was a specially-funded program for nursery-aged autistic children during a time when something like that was still a bit revolutionary. Four former classmates agreed to meet with him: One works as a researcher in the field of computer science and uses puppets on and off in his everyday interactions. Another is a political speechwriter who, with assistance from his attentive grandmother, learned to successfully live on his own. Another works as a courier by bicycle, is in his first relationship, and writes poetry as a hobby. Last is a girl who was a good piano player and taught children to play piano, had epilepsy, and went through a big ordeal with her parents in understanding how to navigate the bus system. The writing style is engaging and really captures the individuals and their lives. Some statements made about autism may be on the stereotypical side but overall the content is good and he sprinkles in some of his own insights as well as detailing some of his own struggles and aha moments.
The following article posted by AANE details the range of challenges people on the spectrum can have. They have since removed it from their site, but I had a copy that was printed out and I retyped it to post it onto here. They may have removed the article because the outdated term ‘Asperger’ is used in it. At the time the article came out they were called The Asperger / Autism Network, but they are now called The Association for Autism and Neurodiversity.
Here is also a corresponding image to another article that was posted by AANE on some possible strengths associated with being on the spectrum. I don’t have the text to go with that one.
